Trumpigula the Story is the completely true account of the life of Trumpigula, a pigman who was inspired by Donald Trump and Caligula. Trump’s and Caligula’s similar personality traits naturally blended to become Trumpigula™, the most wicked and wonderful leader, ever.
Trumpigula sincerely hopes his life-story will inspire Donald Trump’s redemption, but he fears he’s just casting a pearl before a swine. Trumpigula says, “If me, the wickedest pigman ever, with my great grabber that’s gonna get ya if you don’t agree with me, can be redeemed and save the world, then so can The Donald™. It’s really up to him to decide to not be such a rump, and to save this planet from the menaces that are destroying it. Like it or not, Trump, you’re gonna have to make that choice sooner rather than later, FOO’!”
Mostly though, Trumpigula, who these days wouldn’t have voted for Caligula OR Trump, or wouldn’t actually come grab you for disagreeing with him, just wants you all to know who the Hades he is. He still has a big ego, that guy.
Me thinks even the most cynical and closed-minded would admit Trumpigula’s life-story is really quite fascinating, if not more incredible, than Trump’s or Caligula’s, who are actually quite bland by comparison.
Who the heck would’ve ever imagined Trumpigula actually being considered the Greatest Leader Ever? Yet, pretty much everyone who matters now believes he is and deserves to be recognized as such, and is worthy of the wide-spread attention he’s now getting on social and mainstream media, even the one the American government spews out into space these days. They’ve become true Trumpigulators, those media guys.
Trumpigula would really like his story to become an animated movie because EVERYONE really wants to see HIS life in action, not read a book. He has given his consent to document his life in print, song, and now movie, as really, a movie would be the best media to really get a feel for him, after reading Trumpigula the Story, which really, really is THE BEST way to understand who Trumpigula really is. He really is THAT wonderful. He probably really would even get an Oscar for best impersonation of a President, when he finally gets what he’s really due. Total world accolade.
The world wants to solidify Trumpigula in history, so is raising funds to pay for the movie production, which is the ultimate honor one could bestow upon a person, which Trumpigula most certainly deserves, but that campaign still needs YOUR help. Websites are a dime a dozen. He doesn’t want to be confined to this cheesy website, so please, help him out, will you?
All proceeds from the sale of the songs and slop on his website, Trumpigula.com™, and the bundles of cash raised through crowd-sourcing campaigns and the meetings you are holding in your homes and churches (gods bless you for that!) will be used for to promote Trumpigula’s story until the movie-making goal is met.
Making an animated movie is greatly expensive, so every grand you give out of your life-savings is completely worth it, and will not be for naught.
Before shelling out your fortune to fund Trumpigula the Movie, you should probably read his authenticated biography, which, for a limited time, is available right HERE on this website. FOR FREE! That’s REALLY cheap.
A word of caution, though, just to be fair, like my mommy said I should: Trumpigula the Story is intended for mature audiences: people who don’t think fart jokes be dumb. Yes, children should not speak that way, but we adults have earned that freedom, especially ones who have had to change someone else’s poopy diaper. So much so, that our great Constitution guarantees it in the FIRST AMENDMENT! Snoting awesome, that is.
If you’re afraid of naughty potty-talk, if you’re afraid of aliens, if you’re afraid of knowing The Truth, Trumpigula the Character will absolutely shock, awe, AND offend you. If your sense of humor is sooo dry even Chapstick™ sucks, then so will you after reading this story since President Donald Trump is THE absolute sucker of sanity.
In any case, The Trump is a great role model for The Trumpigula, considering all the great material Donald J. Trump provides, PLUS a super-size ego which being Trumpigula naturally becomes waaay escalated, as you’re becoming aware of.
Trump’s debauched inanity is priceless for Trumpigula, really, but can’t actually be turned into money. But it can, if you’re now realizing you can’t pass up on this opportunity to show the world how great Trumpigula the Person is by donating some, most, or all of your money to him. He’s made that as easy as a click of a mouse on (t)his website.
Trumpigula’s story is related to Donald Trump. Obviously, that means Trumpigula the Story is raunchy at times and can cause deep-seated trauma you can only wash off with repeated scrubbing. It is banned in most states, and defiantly banned in Russia. It can only be viewed on this highly subversive and matriotic website, for a LIMITED TIME ONLY for FREE! Cheaper than dirt cheap, that is, but a bit less nutritious.
While Trumpigula the Story attempts to provide comic relief to a serious topic, and maybe gives unrealistic hope that Donald Trump can change, reader discretion is highly advised. You may be dirty after reading.
Without further blah blah: